Twas the night before the Auction, and all ’round the farm
Not a creature was stirring, not even in the barn.
The tractors were lined up in the field with care,
In hopes that our bidders, soon would be there.
The sellers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of high bidders danced in their heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.
When down in the kitchen there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Down to the kitchen I flew like a flash,
Found that noisy phone, I wanted to trash!
The bidder was calling from the county next door
Saying that the roads to the auction, really were quite poor.
I told him that Musser Bros. only cancelled for one reason,
And that was only, if the roads closed for the season.
“Are the hours on that tractor, original and neat?”
“Or do you know if, it has a new seat?”
“What about that combine, it looks really slick,
How about the oil, does it show on the stick?”
I answered all his questions, the best that I could,
And went back to bed, to sleep, like I should.
I sold the auction one or two times through the night,
One time, I had 400 bidders, then, none were in sight!!
I awoke in the morning, all ready to go.
And lo, and behold, it really did snow.
I loaded the signs in the trailer with care,
And strategically placed them, to invite bidders there.
We arrived at the farm, and blue smoke filled the air,
As the seller was trying, to start the tractors with care.
Plug in the trailer, set up brochures,
Turn on the heater, so the girls don’t go, Brrrrr!
The first bidders arrived, then another, and another,
Sometimes I wonder, why I worry and bother.
For we painstakingly plan each little detail,
To insure for our seller, this auction will not fail!
“Hi Joe.” “Hi Frank.” “Hello Pete, How’s Mary?”
“It’s a great day for an auction, Isn’t that tractor cherry?
It’s time to get started, we’ve got lot of iron to sell,
Let’s all gather around. Bob, ring that bell!
Who’ll give a hundred, yes, who’ll make it two,
Now, three, four, give five, boy the bids really flew.
We sold all the tractors, we sold all the plows,
We sold a few pallets, we even sold cows.
All the hard work and planning has really come through,
Our seller’s real happy, he’s off to pursue,
A nice round of golf, a few days in the sun,
He’s really quite pleased, that his work days are done.
We’re off to begin, again, where we started,
This auction thing really ain’t for the fainthearted.
A few sleepless nights, a worry there and here.
But I wouldn’t change if I could, I am an auctioneer!
Scott Musser, 2007
Mike Brandly, Auctioneer, CAI, AARE has been an auctioneer and certified appraiser for over 30 years. His company’s auctions are located at: Mike Brandly, Auctioneer, Keller Williams Auctions and Goodwill Columbus Car Auction. He serves as Distinguished Adjunct Faculty at Hondros College of Business, Executive Director of The Ohio Auction School and Faculty at the Certified Auctioneers Institute held at Indiana University.